When pregnant with Lydia, I wished somebody would have warned me about this thing I call, “motherly guilt.” I define it as a mother feeling guilty with any choice she makes feeling it is not the best thing possible for her child. I do this all the time. I am sure I am not alone.
I feel guilty when wanting another child because then I think I am ungrateful for Lydia. I feel guilty when working out when she is awake. I feel guilty when I haven’t read a book to her in two days straight. I feel guilty her nails are long and dirty. I feel guilty we don’t go outside to play more. I feel guilty if she ever cries out at night I am usually not the first to get her. I feel guilty when feeling so busy I don’t have time to sit and play with her. I feel guilty when I run errands way over her nap time. Ugh, obviously this could go on and on.
But then I just had a small break through the other day. I need to take this motherhood guilt thing one day at a time. Each time I feel guilty I need to remember how many times we easily smiled at each other that day. Or how many times I have made her laugh, which can be a lot since she isn’t hard to make laugh. Or how she tells me she loves me all day long. She is great at saying,” I wuv you momma.” We certainly hug and kiss every day too. And I honestly think she likes not having a younger sibling to deal with yet because she gets all the toys and attention to herself. As long as I can remember the simple things I think I can handle this “motherly guilt.”