Oh the guilt.

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When pregnant with Lydia, I wished somebody would have warned me about this thing I call, “motherly guilt.”  I define it as a mother feeling guilty with any choice she makes feeling it is not the best thing possible for her child.  I do this all the time.  I am sure I am not alone.

I feel guilty when wanting another child because then I think I am ungrateful for Lydia.  I feel guilty when working out when she is awake.  I feel guilty when I haven’t read a book to her in two days straight.  I feel guilty her nails are long and dirty.  I feel guilty we don’t go outside to play more.  I feel guilty if she ever cries out at night I am usually not the first to get her.  I feel guilty when feeling so busy I don’t have time to sit and play with her.  I feel guilty when I run errands way over her nap time.  Ugh, obviously this could go on and on.

But then I just had a small break through the other day.  I need to take this motherhood guilt thing one day at a time.  Each time I feel guilty I need to remember how many times we easily smiled at each other that day.  Or how many times I have made her laugh, which can be a lot since she isn’t hard to make laugh.  Or how she tells me she loves me all day long.  She is great at saying,” I wuv you momma.”  We certainly hug and kiss every day too.  And I honestly think she likes not having a younger sibling to deal with yet because she gets all the toys and attention to herself.  As long as I can remember the simple things I think I can handle this “motherly guilt.”

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5 thoughts on “Oh the guilt.

  1. Kara, that gave me serious goose bumps! I have been struggling with this a LOT lately, and I don’t think that it’s something that mom’s talk about with each other (at least to me). I am so glad to know that I’m not alone, and thank you for helping me to remember the loves and kisses each day.

  2. I needed this post today. I have been having a lot of mom guilt lately too. Thanks for reminding me to step back and look at the positive of the day. Love you lots!!

  3. I get Mom guilt all the time too, even if I am doing something else that is great. I hate that feeling but I know it doesn’t happen all the time and I’d rather have the guilt then not care.

  4. Brent thinks I have the guitiest conscience EVER, and I do! I think it really just comes with the territory. I feel guilty every time I have a migraine and have to ship my kids off to a friends. Or everytime I teach piano. My list goes on and on too. But honestly, I think that you are a terrific mom and that Lydia is so lucky to have you!! You are so cute!!

  5. I think thats something every mother goes through. Althought perfection is something that would be wonderful, we are human and need to remember that we are the perfect mother for our children. I have struggled with those same feelings, and my cousin had a long chat with me and said that I needed to tell my brain to shut up. To take charge of my own thoughts and tell myself that my choices are good, and will impact our family for the better and what I am doing is the right thing. Not to justify, because I dont think im ever doing things I shouldnt, but now I have a much easier time with the things that used to bother me. So, tell your mind to take a hike and enjoy those tiny smiles, loud laughs and big hugs from your perfect baby girl. Have time to yourself, take a break, and you’ll be that much more in tune with what she needs since you have centered your sould and have fed your spirit with what you needed to get. A quick trip to the store, a run, reading a book by yourself. Moms need those simple things to keep us going. She’ll always be your first, your oldest, your favorite Lydia. You’ll have lots of other favorites, but I think that just happens. She’s your experiement for the rest of your kids. And dont feel guilty about that either!! For the entire history of the earth there have been billions of ‘firsts’ born, and there will be millions more. Just enjoy your days, dont spend time on worry. Enjoy every second that you can, and forget about the rest. You are a good mama. All your readers can see in your posts how much you love your family. And I know they know it too.

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